How to Support a Friend or Loved One with Depression

Learning that someone in your life that you care about is going through depression can be scary, overwhelming, intimidating and about a million more things.

But that means that the person who has depression felt safe enough with you to be able to let you in on this hard part of their life.

There are many ways to help support someone in your life who has depression. It is not always easy, but it is completely possible.

Educate yourself

Learning and understanding the situation of this friend or family member is key to supporting them as they go through depression.

You must learn about what depression is first.

“Depression is a mood disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, and loss of interest or pleasure in activities. It can significantly impact daily life and is often accompanied by physical symptoms like sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and fatigue.”

Once you feel like you understand what depression is on a fairly decent level, you must also educate yourself on the person you are trying to support.

This does NOT mean be their therapist. This simply means that you learn what their basic needs are like what their favorite meals are, their favorite movie or even what their goals are with how they want to proceed with dealing with their depression.

It can also be helpful to learn what their triggers are for depressive episodes that way you can either avoid them or maybe help them through the episode if they need or allow you to.

Offer helpful support

If this person in your life is coming to you about their depression, odds are that they trust you and want you to know what’s going on.

This means that your support throughout the process is important to them.

Things you can do to give helpful and practical support is to:

Help with daily tasks that may feel daunting to them.
Drive them to appointments.
Go to support groups with them if allowed or asked.
Help them find resources like therapists, groups and more.

It is definitely a case by case scenario on what helpful practical support they may need, but this is your role in this situation. To know what they need and want while not overdoing it or undergoing it.

Listen actively

Being a good listener can be a good way to be a support system for those in your life who have depression.

This means waiting for your turn to speak when they are voicing their thoughts and emotions they are feeling. Offering advice if you feel up to the task may also help.

It also means that you don’t just say, “yes,” “No,” or nod and shake your head in reply. It helps to ask follow-up questions. It helps the person to feel safer and more comfortable talking to you about depression or even anything else in their life, good or bad.

Being there and simply listening can be a huge support system for those with depression because a lot of the time, the depression stems from feeling lonely a lot. If you are there to support them and actively listen, they are not alone anymore.

Take care of yourself

Depression can have a tendency to slip into our everyday lives without us knowing.

While you want to be the support system this friend or family member may need, it is also important to take care of yourself as well. If you are surrounded by depression and the low emotions and negative thoughts a lot, it can be easy to stay in that mindset and feeling by yourself, therefore taking the risk that you may develop depression.

Knowing this may mean that you talk to someone on your end about what this other person is going through. This does not mean gossip. This means going to a therapist or someone who is very trustworthy who may be able to help guide you through being that support system for that person in your life.

Taking care of yourself and your basic needs like showering, eating, working, staying active and more is just as important as everything else we have talked about.

Knowing the reality of depression and how far it can go can be scary, especially if someone you know or love is dealing with it.

Make sure that if someone comes to you seeking help or support with their depression, you know what you’re dealing with by educating yourself, you offer support to them in ways you know how to and ways you think may help and finally, make sure to prioritize yourself throughout this process.

Your mental health is just as important as the mental health of the friend or loved one you are offering your support to.